After the pathology report things have changed in a drastic way. I felt a lot of closure in knowing the pathology report and more of an it was supposed to happen over my body stopping a perfectly normal pregnancy. We're still mourning but it has offered us that ray of hope that perhaps this was a one time thing and the steps we took to help the pregnancy is going to still work when we get our sticky healthy baby bun in the oven.
I think this is the acceptance part of grieving. I've accepted what was and am finding myself moving on, never forgetting but seeing some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. The quote in the beginning of this post is something I'm finding myself saying a lot. I remind myself when I get overwhelmed or see a pregnancy that I can be happy for them while reminding myself 'one day it'll be you. With that reminder it gives me something to look forward to.
At this point all we can do is say "Ok what are our next steps." Standing still won't get us results and well lets get to it when we're ready. One step, one moment at a time I've promised myself.. we'll get there. The only realistic option Paul and I have is to keep fighting for what we want in life. So fight we will.
"I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it." ♥
2 comments:
I am so happy how amazing your doctors have been to you and Paul, and how blessed you both are to continually get wonderful help from much-needed people to get answers. While it is devastating and heartbreaking to lose your yet another beautiful miracle, it is also comforting to know WHY and WHAT are causing this to happen. I have faith that you and Paul will get there, and hold that baby in your arms at last. XXX
Hugs! Happy Holidays to you and your beautiful family darlin!
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