You ever feel like all the energy has been sucked right out of you? Like moving a muscle would be a literal crime against humanity? Ok not to that extreme but my body is HURTING. I haven't had this kind of muscle pain in 2 years. And I have to admit I LOVE IT!
Now before you all start thinking I'm psychotic for saying that, Let me explain a bit more.
I just shot a wedding on the 7th. Needless to say it was a ton of fun. However I got on facebook and I dreaded what I saw. There are photos of me from the wedding. A reason why I love photography is so that I can control the photos taken. Also so that I'm not in photos. What I saw was just so very disturbing to me. Seeing myself in the 3rd person sucked. I have gained so much weight. It finally hit me that I'm also missing out on getting photos with friends and family because of this. That day I researched gyms and made a plan. This was on Wednesday. We are now going to our local gym and went 3 times last week and I plan on doing 3-4 this week.
So after working out on Wednesday I felt pretty good, tired but good. Did some Cardio and some upper-body. Part of me went right back into old habits of training so I had to remind myself I'm looking to build stamina not muscle.
Thursday morning came and my left arm was immobile. It hurt and it was like an old friend I missed. It was a reminder to me that this is what happens when you let your body get out of shape. It also let me knwo that I worked out enough to make my arms hurt.
Now comes Saturday. MY ENTIRE body ached. I'll be honest usually I get my body aches 1 day after the workouts but 2-3 not so much. I was walking like i had a pole stuck up my rear. My husband took pleasure in reminding me of that fact every chance he could :D.
Today we went back to it and while the legs hurt a bit I find that today my energy is zapped. But in a good way. I'm really hoping that I stay on this track to loosing weight. I hope it's not just a month thing where I get inspired then loose that inspiration. Part of me wants to say I won't while the other part knows it is a possibility. So for now I'll take it one day at a time, much like everything else.
BTW (2 exams done in the last 2 weeks for my photography course ;) )
Slowly but surly I'm getting everything organized, finding time to do things and overall enjoy life. Now it's time for a little din din then relaxations.
Thanks for reading my rambles.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Just keep Swimming!
Oh joy. So if my husbands ego didn't get a good boost today I don't know what will. Some may or may not know. On my laundry list of things I'm doing we're also trying for a baby. This has been an ongoing journey for about a year now.
In any case we've begun proceedings of trying to figure out why we're not getting pregnant. My husband did his test and needless to say he could get a women pregnant by looking at her. The normal averages they have my husband was over all of them and not by a little. I just got off the phone as I thought he'd like to hear it. His words "So I'm a very strong swimmer." "Yes dear in your own mind you are."
I'm extremely happy for this notion. However it means the fingers are pointing at me and my lady bits. "NAUGHTY!" work properly darn it! I have already had an internal and external ultrasound done along with blood tests. Usually when the doc calls they say "Everything looks great." I was greeted with "you have a 5 cm cyst, high prolactin levels, a bit of a bacterial infection. AND you have slightly high cholesterol. Well doc gee thanks ;).
I'll admit hearing all that made me far more aware of my body and my own health. We always like to think that because we're wrong we're invincible. I've said that a few times but honestly I never bought into the fact that something health wise could go wrong with me. That was until the doc smacked me with a healthy dose of reality.
So the next steps will be to start my testing to see if there may be things wrong with why we're not conceiving. I'll admit the testing doesn't seem to pleasant. I won't bother you with the details but from what I've been explained it's not fun. Oh joy. "hunny your going to hold my hand if it hurts!" my husband is such a trooper.
I'll be waiting till the end of august as we have to do a recheck on the cyst. If it's grown then we have to get it removed. If it's dissolved as I haven't felt it rupture yet then we can begin the other testing. I hate having to wait till September to start the testing again but in my heart of hearts I know that it's best to be fully checked out and understand if there will be any risks then to go into this thing blind.
I'm putting faith in modern medicine and my body. If we're meant to have a child we will if not then that's a bridge we'll have to cross and come to terms with when we get there.
In any case you can best bet that my husband is glowing and feeling overall macho right now ;)
In any case we've begun proceedings of trying to figure out why we're not getting pregnant. My husband did his test and needless to say he could get a women pregnant by looking at her. The normal averages they have my husband was over all of them and not by a little. I just got off the phone as I thought he'd like to hear it. His words "So I'm a very strong swimmer." "Yes dear in your own mind you are."
I'm extremely happy for this notion. However it means the fingers are pointing at me and my lady bits. "NAUGHTY!" work properly darn it! I have already had an internal and external ultrasound done along with blood tests. Usually when the doc calls they say "Everything looks great." I was greeted with "you have a 5 cm cyst, high prolactin levels, a bit of a bacterial infection. AND you have slightly high cholesterol. Well doc gee thanks ;).
I'll admit hearing all that made me far more aware of my body and my own health. We always like to think that because we're wrong we're invincible. I've said that a few times but honestly I never bought into the fact that something health wise could go wrong with me. That was until the doc smacked me with a healthy dose of reality.
So the next steps will be to start my testing to see if there may be things wrong with why we're not conceiving. I'll admit the testing doesn't seem to pleasant. I won't bother you with the details but from what I've been explained it's not fun. Oh joy. "hunny your going to hold my hand if it hurts!" my husband is such a trooper.
I'll be waiting till the end of august as we have to do a recheck on the cyst. If it's grown then we have to get it removed. If it's dissolved as I haven't felt it rupture yet then we can begin the other testing. I hate having to wait till September to start the testing again but in my heart of hearts I know that it's best to be fully checked out and understand if there will be any risks then to go into this thing blind.
I'm putting faith in modern medicine and my body. If we're meant to have a child we will if not then that's a bridge we'll have to cross and come to terms with when we get there.
In any case you can best bet that my husband is glowing and feeling overall macho right now ;)
Life is what you make it.
In the past few days a lot has really happened. Well not a lot to some but enough for me.
A few days ago we got our visa petition approval notice. While this doesn't mean we're done with this all yet this is such a positive step. We tried to get somewhat prepared for this and ordered all the documentation that we'd need. On top of that we have some forms to fill out. This type of stuff has to be done with a fine tooth comb. Without the help of visajourney.com . I honestly think my husband and I would be beyond lost.
It was kinda funny how I found out. I went to go put a load of laundry away just as my husband came in. I was going back and forth while welcoming him home. when I come out of the washroom I see my husband with a letter in his hand and this HUGE grin. Right away I knew what it was. I shrieked a bit and was just so very happy.
We'd been stressing about when it'd come for a while. Now that it's here I'm stressing about getting all the proper documentation together so we can send it in to the NVC as soon as we get our packet. Needless to say my husband and I toasted with a glass of Vapolicella. MM good.
The next thing that has happened was the overturning of prop 8. For me this is such an amazing thing. I have so many friends who are gay and it's so nice to see that the US is taking this step. Everyone deserves to show their love, be loved and get the same benefits that those of us heterosexual couples get. WIth that being said I found an amazing Greys quote that I feel suits this situation to a 'T'.
"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them."
This quote can be taken in a multitude of ways. For me it speaks of diversity, of just living life as it comes and stop trying to worry about what others are doing because in the end while they live their life freely you are imprisoning yourself by worrying about their daily actions. This goes for anything. There's something of value to take away from this quote. It has really opened my eyes and made me want to stop putting up boundaries, be it if it's my life, my emotions, or my love. Some of it's been locked away for far to long. I've drawn so many lines that I've boxed myself in. Little by little the lines are being erased. Some may never go away but in the end I have to try.
A few days ago we got our visa petition approval notice. While this doesn't mean we're done with this all yet this is such a positive step. We tried to get somewhat prepared for this and ordered all the documentation that we'd need. On top of that we have some forms to fill out. This type of stuff has to be done with a fine tooth comb. Without the help of visajourney.com . I honestly think my husband and I would be beyond lost.
It was kinda funny how I found out. I went to go put a load of laundry away just as my husband came in. I was going back and forth while welcoming him home. when I come out of the washroom I see my husband with a letter in his hand and this HUGE grin. Right away I knew what it was. I shrieked a bit and was just so very happy.
We'd been stressing about when it'd come for a while. Now that it's here I'm stressing about getting all the proper documentation together so we can send it in to the NVC as soon as we get our packet. Needless to say my husband and I toasted with a glass of Vapolicella. MM good.
The next thing that has happened was the overturning of prop 8. For me this is such an amazing thing. I have so many friends who are gay and it's so nice to see that the US is taking this step. Everyone deserves to show their love, be loved and get the same benefits that those of us heterosexual couples get. WIth that being said I found an amazing Greys quote that I feel suits this situation to a 'T'.
"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them."
This quote can be taken in a multitude of ways. For me it speaks of diversity, of just living life as it comes and stop trying to worry about what others are doing because in the end while they live their life freely you are imprisoning yourself by worrying about their daily actions. This goes for anything. There's something of value to take away from this quote. It has really opened my eyes and made me want to stop putting up boundaries, be it if it's my life, my emotions, or my love. Some of it's been locked away for far to long. I've drawn so many lines that I've boxed myself in. Little by little the lines are being erased. Some may never go away but in the end I have to try.
Monday, August 2, 2010
So full of focus I've missed out on Blogging it ;)... sarcasm
When I started this journal I had a track and a general path in mind. Now heaven only knows what's going on. I wanted to do that drawing project but the more I thought about it the more I realized how there were other things in my life besides 'drawing' that deserved a little bit more of my time. No I still haven't done the exam.
I've had time to evaluate and wanted to keep this a relatively positive post instead of one that draws off the fact that I have lacked focus in the areas I previously blogged about.
I have been busy with the business. I have become far more organized and have about 3 calenders one pocket book, one dry eraser and one on my desk. I put down every single task that needs to be done.
So Positive #1 scheduling for business has been achieved for this month. Stay tuned for next month.
This week I have made time for myself but am also focusing on getting work done early. When you were a kid did your parents ever make you or tell you to do your homework when you get home.. Their main reasoning for this was because you'd have more time to enjoy the night. I never really grasped this till around now. Crazy I know but it's true.
So now I'm left to wonder... what crazy goal am I going to make this time? Well this time it's going to be a simple one without putting a strain on myself or my body. That's just to enjoy tomorrow. What happens will happen. I will ensure to check my schedule but part of finding focus to me is finding happiness in our environment and what we have that others may not. I have a beautiful dog who needs exercise and we will go on a nice walk tomorrow. I'm blessed truthfully to have such caring people remind me of everything I have to be grateful about.
(you'll find this blog post isn't focused as it's going all over the place)
Weight has been an issue for me for a while. I have been going to weight watchers for almost a year now and I'll admit I'm dismayed to only be 8lbs down since last year. All of it is my fault all because I just can't stick to doing one thing. If i put all my energy that I put into doing a million different things in a month, man would I be accomplished in whatever that thing was I took on. In any case I was really bummed that I gained 1.3 lbs 2 weeks ago. I didn't understand it, I wa eating right. The thing that helped me was my MIL. I'm my own worst critic as many people are to themselves. This is a very unhealthy thing to be at times. My MIL is like the opposite of me. She'd be positive even if a mouse pooped in her corn flakes. She always sees the brighter side to things. I usually thrive off of the pushy people. But that day my MIL's reassurance and just upbeat nature was just inspiring. The following week I lost .6lbs. To some that's like going to the bathroom but to me I'm learning to take solace in the smallest accomplishments.
I think that's what part of this blog is about. It's just finding happiness in even the smallest achievements. You don't need a medal around your neck or a thousand people chanting your name. A simple pat on the back should make you feel just as elated. So my goal for the week. Blog some small achievements I've made. Even if it is getting a fan order done. WOOHOO. I think if I take the time to recognize the achievements it may help with seeing the progress in what I do.
Are you confused yet? Hope I haven't lost you in what is my ever turning mind.
I've had time to evaluate and wanted to keep this a relatively positive post instead of one that draws off the fact that I have lacked focus in the areas I previously blogged about.
I have been busy with the business. I have become far more organized and have about 3 calenders one pocket book, one dry eraser and one on my desk. I put down every single task that needs to be done.
So Positive #1 scheduling for business has been achieved for this month. Stay tuned for next month.
This week I have made time for myself but am also focusing on getting work done early. When you were a kid did your parents ever make you or tell you to do your homework when you get home.. Their main reasoning for this was because you'd have more time to enjoy the night. I never really grasped this till around now. Crazy I know but it's true.
So now I'm left to wonder... what crazy goal am I going to make this time? Well this time it's going to be a simple one without putting a strain on myself or my body. That's just to enjoy tomorrow. What happens will happen. I will ensure to check my schedule but part of finding focus to me is finding happiness in our environment and what we have that others may not. I have a beautiful dog who needs exercise and we will go on a nice walk tomorrow. I'm blessed truthfully to have such caring people remind me of everything I have to be grateful about.
(you'll find this blog post isn't focused as it's going all over the place)
Weight has been an issue for me for a while. I have been going to weight watchers for almost a year now and I'll admit I'm dismayed to only be 8lbs down since last year. All of it is my fault all because I just can't stick to doing one thing. If i put all my energy that I put into doing a million different things in a month, man would I be accomplished in whatever that thing was I took on. In any case I was really bummed that I gained 1.3 lbs 2 weeks ago. I didn't understand it, I wa eating right. The thing that helped me was my MIL. I'm my own worst critic as many people are to themselves. This is a very unhealthy thing to be at times. My MIL is like the opposite of me. She'd be positive even if a mouse pooped in her corn flakes. She always sees the brighter side to things. I usually thrive off of the pushy people. But that day my MIL's reassurance and just upbeat nature was just inspiring. The following week I lost .6lbs. To some that's like going to the bathroom but to me I'm learning to take solace in the smallest accomplishments.
I think that's what part of this blog is about. It's just finding happiness in even the smallest achievements. You don't need a medal around your neck or a thousand people chanting your name. A simple pat on the back should make you feel just as elated. So my goal for the week. Blog some small achievements I've made. Even if it is getting a fan order done. WOOHOO. I think if I take the time to recognize the achievements it may help with seeing the progress in what I do.
Are you confused yet? Hope I haven't lost you in what is my ever turning mind.
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