So full of focus I've missed out on Blogging it ;)... sarcasm

When I started this journal I had a track and a general path in mind. Now heaven only knows what's going on. I wanted to do that drawing project but the more I thought about it the more I realized how there were other things in my life besides 'drawing' that deserved a little bit more of my time. No I still haven't done the exam.

I've had time to evaluate and wanted to keep this a relatively positive post instead of one that draws off the fact that I have lacked focus in the areas I previously blogged about.

I have been busy with the business. I have become far more organized and have about 3 calenders one pocket book, one dry eraser and one on my desk. I put down every single task that needs to be done.

So Positive #1 scheduling for business has been achieved for this month. Stay tuned for next month.

This week I have made time for myself but am also focusing on getting work done early. When you were a kid did your parents ever make you or tell you to do your homework when you get home.. Their main reasoning for this was because you'd have more time to enjoy the night. I never really grasped this till around now. Crazy I know but it's true.

So now I'm left to wonder... what crazy goal am I going to make this time? Well this time it's going to be a simple one without putting a strain on myself or my body. That's just to enjoy tomorrow. What happens will happen. I will ensure to check my schedule but part of finding focus to me is finding happiness in our environment and what we have that others may not. I have a beautiful dog who needs exercise and we will go on a nice walk tomorrow. I'm blessed truthfully to have such caring people remind me of everything I have to be grateful about.

(you'll find this blog post isn't focused as it's going all over the place)

Weight has been an issue for me for a while. I have been going to weight watchers for almost a year now and I'll admit I'm dismayed to only be 8lbs down since last year. All of it is my fault all because I just can't stick to doing one thing. If i put all my energy that I put into doing a million different things in a month, man would I be accomplished in whatever that thing was I took on. In any case I was really bummed that I gained 1.3 lbs 2 weeks ago. I didn't understand it, I wa eating right. The thing that helped me was my MIL. I'm my own worst critic as many people are to themselves. This is a very unhealthy thing to be at times. My MIL is like the opposite of me. She'd be positive even if a mouse pooped in her corn flakes. She always sees the brighter side to things. I usually thrive off of the pushy people. But that day my MIL's reassurance and just upbeat nature was just inspiring. The following week I lost .6lbs. To some that's like going to the bathroom but to me I'm learning to take solace in the smallest accomplishments.


I think that's what part of this blog is about. It's just finding happiness in even the smallest achievements. You don't need a medal around your neck or a thousand people chanting your name. A simple pat on the back should make you feel just as elated. So my goal for the week. Blog some small achievements I've made. Even if it is getting a fan order done. WOOHOO. I think if I take the time to recognize the achievements it may help with seeing the progress in what I do.

Are you confused yet? Hope I haven't lost you in what is my ever turning mind.

Day 2: One foot infront of the other

In my quest for focus I started with a rather basic way. I went to bed last night and before I did I planned out my day and what I needed to do vs what I wanted to do. While I didn't do anything creative (by drawing means) I did get a lot done. I am focusing on getting ahead of what I am obligated to do. Suprisingly when I looked at the list and the time it took me to get things done was far shorter than I realize. Procrastination always got the better of me.

The list seems to be something that keeps me focused. Focused in life is something I'm looking for but also creatively I"m looking to advance in a craft each month. I have hopes to compare the beginning of the year to the end of the year. See a cumulative progression (hopefully).

Rome wasn't build in a day so I didn't expect to get something done right away but I got everything except 3 tasks done on my list I had around 12 things that I wanted to do. Not to shabby and a great start for tomorrow. Hopefully by the end of this week I'll have something drawn.

The clean up begins

Have you ever been so creatively starved yet full at the same time?

Since my job loss I thought that having time for arts and crafts would be fun. I thought that having my own business would be well not to use the same word after word but fun as well. I love photography and my graphic design. It's something I truthfully love to wake up every morning to. But then there are days where I get into that job mentality, you know the 'I don't wanna' feeling. I am always searching for ways to get this 'creativity' out of my mind. Sounds odd right? Creativity out of my mind when I'm doing all this stuff every day with photography and the graphics. Wrong. What happens is I get up every morning with this idea of things I'd like to do. Then like a person with horrible ADD I find myself trying it and never finishing it. For example I received a new tablet that allows you to draw Waccom Bamboo pen tablet and I still have yet to use it.

My creativity started with drawing when I was about in the 9th grade I really loved to sketch and continued to do so up till I was entering COllege. Once College started School and hockey became my main prioirty. WIth college I found another creative release through poetry. I started to write and when I look back on the first poems I wrote I couldn't help but laugh. By no means am I saying I'm really any better than I was before because that's not entirely the case. But Poetry was a way for me to track my emotions. Junior year came and I was introduced to my first high end Camera, thus the passion for photography started. Do you already see where my Creativity problem starts and ends? Yeah me neither.

So now here I am in this perpetual cycle of photography, poetry (less of that) and drawing
(now more or less graphics designs). So every time I try to start something I'm caught with
not liking how I'm starting so I stop and try to go onto something else. Along with that I also have orders for my invitation business which is great.

So why am I starting this blog? Well that's a pretty good question when I figure that out I'll be sure to let you know. Or if you figure it out could you let me know?

I think I designed this to become focused. With that being said I have 2 creative goals that I want to set right now.

1. Do one exam by the end of this month in regards to my photography online class. Oh yes I forgot to mention that i took that on as well. I'm always striving for perfection in what I do but am getting frustrated at the lack of serious focus!

2. Finish One tutorial on basic drawing. I'm going back to square one with drawing and will be looking to finish a beginner drawers tutorial. The drawing will be done on paper and uploaded.

Along with those creative goals I have business goals which will just be to calender everything and figure out start and finish times.


I'm vowing for ONE year from this date that I will be striving for a focused me. I'm looking to find me within the year. Looking for what it is I'm creatively starved for.

Looking for Focus.