UGH! Why is it such a struggle?

Life has certainly had an abundance of changes in only a month. Most of them all in a positive direction.

I spent last month with family and truly loved every moment of it. My little nephews never failed to make me smile. Now there were times that I wished I was with my husband. Who am I kidding I wished every moment that I was with him. But alas we can't always have what we 'want'.

Health Progress

I kept up with my work outs for a mere 7 days then got set back and overall am in a rut. I am sitting here trying to analyze what small steps I can take to make it stick just to make it so I don't always end up back tracking. Logically I say to myself "All of that work for nothing!" The other half of me just sticks it's tongue out. This is truly trying and I'll be honest I'm at my wits end in this department.


Yesterday I got back to the house and did a major overhaul of the house. We live in this small one bedroom home and well you have to get creative with space and how you use it. It felt nice to get everything cleaned put in its place, and some boxes consolidated.

Our 2 foot christmas tree was put up and decorated much to my surprise it looks pretty darn good :) *goes to turn on the lights*

Happy Announcements

I received a phone call from one of my best friends to hear that she and her husband are expecting their first child. My heart lept but in a good way. She had been trying for a bit (well only 4 months) but still trying none the less. I'm beyond thrilled that she's got what she wanted for a while now. I'm holding fast that it will happen for us when the times right. At times I wish "can it please be now already.". The other half of me thinks Maybe this is good as I need to find some sort of focus/nich in life before I complicate things further. I'm realistic and I know you can't ever have all of your ducks in a row but I feel at least some kind of a direction is best.

I also found out that my other best friend will be having a Stag and Doe after her 2 showers we just put on. So with that I sadly can't go next March to her stag. Reason being its an 8 hr drive among other things that will be explained. Hard to also get all that time off for the wedding, the stag and the visa.

Visa fun

The visa process is slowly getting closer to being over with. Anywhere from Jan-March I could be told I have my interview. Which is non negotiable and is in montreal. After that I have my best friends wedding, then I have my other best friends baby shower which I with honor am throwing. So 2011 has so much going on in a 'stressful' but happy way. Nothing better than seeing others advance in their lives and happiness.

Right now

Disney Movies are playing and I'm wondering what I should do. I came up with an amazing art idea that I would love to do. OR I can take a book and start into a new journey of someone elses life. (gotta love those romance novel.) I find myself looking at the clock and wondering where the time goes.

Oh also I have taken an interest in learning how to QUilt. EEKKK I know eh... My husband made a very true statement to me that I go out and buy supplies for something then only do it for a week. Dear gosh I wish I'd just find something I'd like to do all the time. Perhaps this is why having a job is a good thing? It gives you a definite route and purpose. "Do this and this and this." there's no guess work.

Much like my other posts you'll find that this post lacks so much focus it isn't even funny.

In Conclusion
Can someone please come to my rescue and make suggestions on things to do with my weight problems and perhaps my creative wrecklesness lol.

The clean up begins

Have you ever been so creatively starved yet full at the same time?

Since my job loss I thought that having time for arts and crafts would be fun. I thought that having my own business would be well not to use the same word after word but fun as well. I love photography and my graphic design. It's something I truthfully love to wake up every morning to. But then there are days where I get into that job mentality, you know the 'I don't wanna' feeling. I am always searching for ways to get this 'creativity' out of my mind. Sounds odd right? Creativity out of my mind when I'm doing all this stuff every day with photography and the graphics. Wrong. What happens is I get up every morning with this idea of things I'd like to do. Then like a person with horrible ADD I find myself trying it and never finishing it. For example I received a new tablet that allows you to draw Waccom Bamboo pen tablet and I still have yet to use it.

My creativity started with drawing when I was about in the 9th grade I really loved to sketch and continued to do so up till I was entering COllege. Once College started School and hockey became my main prioirty. WIth college I found another creative release through poetry. I started to write and when I look back on the first poems I wrote I couldn't help but laugh. By no means am I saying I'm really any better than I was before because that's not entirely the case. But Poetry was a way for me to track my emotions. Junior year came and I was introduced to my first high end Camera, thus the passion for photography started. Do you already see where my Creativity problem starts and ends? Yeah me neither.

So now here I am in this perpetual cycle of photography, poetry (less of that) and drawing
(now more or less graphics designs). So every time I try to start something I'm caught with
not liking how I'm starting so I stop and try to go onto something else. Along with that I also have orders for my invitation business which is great.

So why am I starting this blog? Well that's a pretty good question when I figure that out I'll be sure to let you know. Or if you figure it out could you let me know?

I think I designed this to become focused. With that being said I have 2 creative goals that I want to set right now.

1. Do one exam by the end of this month in regards to my photography online class. Oh yes I forgot to mention that i took that on as well. I'm always striving for perfection in what I do but am getting frustrated at the lack of serious focus!

2. Finish One tutorial on basic drawing. I'm going back to square one with drawing and will be looking to finish a beginner drawers tutorial. The drawing will be done on paper and uploaded.

Along with those creative goals I have business goals which will just be to calender everything and figure out start and finish times.


I'm vowing for ONE year from this date that I will be striving for a focused me. I'm looking to find me within the year. Looking for what it is I'm creatively starved for.

Looking for Focus.