Every step

With every step I take I'm slowly finding who I am. Both in my photography career and overall life.

Unemployment has been such a growing experience. I'm not one of those individuals to sit back and be lazy. I found myself finding ways to not only occupy my time but become productive force in our family. The satisfaction from seeing the fruits of your labor is simply put rewarding. Although I know some of my time could have been better spent researching a bit more, I'm none the less proud of myself.

Through this time I've come to the realization that being 'unfocused' allowed me to expand my horizons. Being unfocused I realized was a byproduct of not being satisfied. My satisfaction now comes with knowing how creative I truly am. It may seem egotistical to some but it's something I'm proud of but only came through lots of work.

I feel that life could always always be worse and the fact that I have the means to do all these creative projects is a blessing on it's own. Many do not have such opportunities.

So my focus now? To continue to grow in whatever way strikes my fancy in that moment. :)Accept that the erratic thought process and the growing projects are a part of who I am. It's what makes me me. :D



Baby process:

I'm sure some of you are in question as far as how it's going with getting pregnant. Right now we're at a stand still. I had an abnormal pap which seems to be a 'normal' thing for women. So we're going to take care of whatever caused the abnormal pap via a colposcopy. At this point whatever lays ahead for my husband and I, I really cant change. I can only try to grow, learn from it and find peace in whatever path truly
lay ahead for us both (in this department). I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm dreading any bad news. Part of me is terrified, the other part has hope because no answers are given yet :). I can say how I'd LIKE to react to any possible news but in truth I'm unsure how my heart would take it.

Once we get this out of the way it's on to clomid. A part of me is doing this jumping dance, but I don't want to put so much hope and faith in this drug. But that's step 2 and I can't jump there till I'm cleared of step 1.

I want to say thank you to all my readers. It helps to know that others are out there maybe taking comfort in my journey, connecting with it in one way, or in need of some kind of support.