There's planning to be a parent then there's knowing what you'll do

The 'perks' of trying for children for so long is I've had time to 'dream' about how we'll raise our children. I also have had time to really read through mothering blogs pre and post postpartum. Often you see the same theme. "Plan till your hearts content but you'll likely have to throw them out the window." I've had to over time adjust my thinking that as much as I may want a vaginal birth, that may not happen. As much as I may want to breastfeed that also may not happen. I have to be open to other possibilities so that when it comes down to those situations I'm not utterly heartbroken. I've learned to be a bit more flexible in my thoughts on parenting.

However, I've also learned there are certain things I'm unwilling to flex on. Please note that the following may not match those of your beliefs and that's ok. I'm just speaking from my own beliefs and what my moral standards are for myself and for my children. This is not me saying others are wrong in their teachings, just that I don't share those beliefs.

One of the major things I've always sought in life is to fight for equality. When I was younger I didn't judge people based on their skin, gender, or sexual preference. Perhaps being in hockey allowed me to be introduced to some amazing women who happened to be lesbians. This isn't the case for every hockey team (that'd be stereotyping) but It was at least on the teams I played on a part of my life. I was exposed to people who were gay at a young age. In truth it never bothered me, they were still amazing people and friends in my life who never made me feel uncomfortable. If someone did I'd be honest with them and let them know they were crossing a line.

In recent news I'm sure many readers are familiar with the Boy Scouts of America and their ban on Gay's (it's been this way for 100 years) and how they're looking to overturn that 'ruling'. I have to say that was great to hear. +1 for equality. Something that did cross my mind is what happens if they don't pass this? My husband and his family are heavily into BSOA. With that I've had to consider, what happens if we're ever blessed with a child who is a boy, and this rule still stands? I've really learned that there are things that I just can't be flexible on. I'm sad to say (as I'd hate to break that tradition) I will not allow them to join up if no changes are made. There are a few things I morally can't go against and intolerance to this degree I don't want my child partaking in.

I mean many children at the age that start boy scouts are unlikely to even identify with their sexual orientation in such a deep way. I don't know how the BSOA has 'kept them out' in the past. In truth I didn't know much about Boy Scouts, from what I was exposed to it was something I wanted to continue with our own son. But after learning this, I just can't now turn a blind eye. Do they not allow a member based on how they act or do they wait for the 'official' word. Many children who reach their teens are (while it's getting better) less likely to come out at such a young age. So I'm just mildly baffled at the rule in the first place and how it's enforced.

I've already had a discussion with my husband that this is just something I can't compromise on if that's what the organization stands for. I know it's a discussion we'll have again when and if we ever get to that point. But for now I had to voice my concerns if this rule isn't removed.



Photos like this upset me, to see children at this gathering is sad: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/07/us/boy-scouts-postpone-decision-on-gays.html?_r=0 Bringing children who may not entirely understand the concept 'stand' for keep god in sin out' just isn't something I want my son learning.

I do want to say I know the BSOA has done alot for my husband and has taught him many valuable life lessons. You can tell that it helped him grow into the helpful, resourceful and respectful man he is today. (along side his parents of course, who IMHO made the most amazing man I could ask for) I don't want to take away from those aspects of what Boy Scouts and Eagel Scouts has done for my husband and his family. But in the same breath I can't ignore what I know now, and we all have our deal breakers, unfortunately this particular topic is a huge deal breaker for me. My husband is certainly always free to part take in volunteering events with BSOA but if the rules don't change I can't allow our son to par take :( and in truth that makes me very sad.