I was so very calm prior to this. Mind you I had mild nerves but now on the inside I'm very restless. I can't seem to get it under control. I'm hardly sleeping and I just can't get my head around all of this.
I told my husband in the car the other day. "I'm afraid of waking up and having something go wrong." .. basically I'm petrified of something go wrong and me wake up to having no reproductive parts. It's such an irrational though I know but it's something I can't shake. I don't want to go to sleep for fear that my life will change drastically when I wake up. This is an easy procedure that is done to many women. SO why is it I'm so damn petrified? In truth it's peeving me off a bit that I'm letting it get to me. My husbands been amazing and helps calm my fears. I'm just hoping that in writing this I can get some sort of release, and perhaps a piece of mind.
So far nope lol. I suppose I'm just afraid of the what ifs. No matter how basic the procedure is sometimes things go wrong or something is found. On the plus side at least I'll be rid of these cramps.
Very sorry for this being a rather down post. I just really needed an outlet.
Tag your it ;)
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Slightly Nervous
As it's been stated we've been going through some testing.
Well I forget if I mentioned it or not but I had a cyst and recently I had an ultrasound to check up on this cyst. It measured in 5cm and on the second check it had not resolved.
I went to the surgeon the other day and surprisingly enough I was very calm. The Dr was very polite and nice as I'm sure many are lol. She's one of the best in this area so knowing that fact I think made it easier. She told me surgery is a must at this point to help promote fertility. So they will be doing a cyst removal, looking for endometriosis both in the uterus and outside, then the final test will be a dye that's used to ensure that the tubes are open and working. At this point while I'll be happy to get pregnant, I'm more or less just happy to get rid of this monthly pain. Pregnancy at this point will be a bonus.
My husband came in a little after I was talking to the Dr. as he was just getting back from his Dr with a clean bill of health. When he came in he was so attentive to me, he even sat on the bed with me. I'm not a PDA person but it felt good and reassuring. I actually think he's more nervous than I am. To me it's not a big deal. We really have only shared what's going on to 3 close friends and our parents. I find there's no need to worry anyone over a small procedure. Well I lied I did tell all the ladies on TN who have been nothing but supportive.
Surgery is scheduled for the 28th of this month and it will be an outpatient procedure. On the plus sides I get to wear sweats and my hubby will be taking care of me after the procedure.
I think the reason why I'm not so nervous is because I have a near and dear friend of mine who has gone through this. There's nothing better than being best friends with someone who UNDERSTANDS what life is like, with the pain and with the infertility. If there's one person who I want to see get pregnant it's this girl. I wish every night that she'll get that blessing. Not to mention is is one of the most maternal women I've ever met. It's so natural for her and it's inspiring to see her with little children. Both her and her husband will make amazing parents. Again it has been so great to have her there for me. I'm not much of a 'talk about me' person, I'm more of an advice giver so sometimes it's nice to have the roles reversed. Not to mention she's a 45 min drive from us which is easy peasy. She's already said they'll be driving out to see me the day of the surgery. Her husband will undoubtedly make fun of my canadianess to which I'll have to have my dog hurt him in my place ;). Kindness like that, and general care for me means more than words can express.
All in all things are going well. I'm perhaps a bit nervous but I'd like to think that's to be expected. Having surgery without my family close and it being my first surgery. But besides that I have a pretty lax attitude about it.
I know this was a pretty boring update but it's an update all the same.
Cheers
Well I forget if I mentioned it or not but I had a cyst and recently I had an ultrasound to check up on this cyst. It measured in 5cm and on the second check it had not resolved.
I went to the surgeon the other day and surprisingly enough I was very calm. The Dr was very polite and nice as I'm sure many are lol. She's one of the best in this area so knowing that fact I think made it easier. She told me surgery is a must at this point to help promote fertility. So they will be doing a cyst removal, looking for endometriosis both in the uterus and outside, then the final test will be a dye that's used to ensure that the tubes are open and working. At this point while I'll be happy to get pregnant, I'm more or less just happy to get rid of this monthly pain. Pregnancy at this point will be a bonus.
My husband came in a little after I was talking to the Dr. as he was just getting back from his Dr with a clean bill of health. When he came in he was so attentive to me, he even sat on the bed with me. I'm not a PDA person but it felt good and reassuring. I actually think he's more nervous than I am. To me it's not a big deal. We really have only shared what's going on to 3 close friends and our parents. I find there's no need to worry anyone over a small procedure. Well I lied I did tell all the ladies on TN who have been nothing but supportive.
Surgery is scheduled for the 28th of this month and it will be an outpatient procedure. On the plus sides I get to wear sweats and my hubby will be taking care of me after the procedure.
I think the reason why I'm not so nervous is because I have a near and dear friend of mine who has gone through this. There's nothing better than being best friends with someone who UNDERSTANDS what life is like, with the pain and with the infertility. If there's one person who I want to see get pregnant it's this girl. I wish every night that she'll get that blessing. Not to mention is is one of the most maternal women I've ever met. It's so natural for her and it's inspiring to see her with little children. Both her and her husband will make amazing parents. Again it has been so great to have her there for me. I'm not much of a 'talk about me' person, I'm more of an advice giver so sometimes it's nice to have the roles reversed. Not to mention she's a 45 min drive from us which is easy peasy. She's already said they'll be driving out to see me the day of the surgery. Her husband will undoubtedly make fun of my canadianess to which I'll have to have my dog hurt him in my place ;). Kindness like that, and general care for me means more than words can express.
All in all things are going well. I'm perhaps a bit nervous but I'd like to think that's to be expected. Having surgery without my family close and it being my first surgery. But besides that I have a pretty lax attitude about it.
I know this was a pretty boring update but it's an update all the same.
Cheers
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