Schelby, where do I start with her? She's a long time TTC'er like I was. I feel myself relating to her the most and really really aching for her to get this rainbow baby she really deserves! She's so knowledgeable about temperature charting, and even more importantly she's a warrior and a gracious supporter to those in the trenches. She reminds me so much of myself when we were struggling, her story closely that to my own. You know i'm thinking of you always Schelby and I adore the fight and determination you have day in and out! Thank you for sharing your story and letter with us today.
---------------
Our story is
at http://themfamilylife.blogspot.ca/
we said
"I do" in August 2010 and made the decision to start TTC a month
later. within our first year, I gradually introduced myself to the world
of charting, starting with taking my BBT and working up to OPKs and checking
CM. it took us until January 2012 to finally see a BFP and then were
devastated when I had a missed MC less than a month later at 7
weeks where no sac had formed. we began TTC once again. over the next year, our
efforts varied as we were also in the process of building a massive addition to
our house. in June 2013 I got another BFP. we made it to 7 weeks with no drama,
even go to see a baby and a heartbeat on an ultrasound. our world once again
came crashing down when at nearly 11 weeks, I started bleeding heavily. our
fears were confirmed and our baby stopped developing at 7 weeks. we're now
about 6 months into TTC since our second MC and have had preliminary infertility
testing done that didn't show any signs of anything being wrong.
dear mom,
thank you for being there and
supporting us through this time in our lives. though there are multiple things
i want you to be aware of:
you don't understand our situation.
you barely had to try to have kids so there's no way you could possibly
understand how it feels to try for so long without success. the only ones who
can are those who've been through the infertility process or have lost a child
(whether a child in the womb or in arms). as helpful as you think you're being,
its not the help i want or need. you're not the one i'm going to turn to when
things go wrong unless my husband can't be there. i just need you to be there
if i come to you.
you're made several comments that
have cut deep and i'm not sure i can forget them. one was just a couple months
after our first miscarriage. i went to visit you after your hysterectomy and
you joked that maybe you should've waited a bit longer to get your uterus
removed in case we needed it if i can't carry myself. i'm not sure how you
thought that was helpful but because i was in a depression over losing our
first chance at expanding our family, the comment was incredibly hurtful and I
haven't been able to stop thinking about it. i also don't appreciate you
projecting your hurt over our losses on me. i understand its a loss for you as
well, but don't talk to me about it because it will fall on deaf ears. i hurt
enough on my own without feeling like i've let you down, so please talk to
anyone else but me about it. i can't deal with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment